A brief history of the band, who they are and why they are. This is all information they told me when they were either ego driven and I had my mouth too full to respond or ego driven pillow talk.........mouth full??? I meant FOOD you dirty bastards
That Callous Stain
Worked as a specialist stripper in a seedy club called "The Red Nose" Resplendant in his clown suit and painted face he was working the pole hard one night, feeling a bit down about his career prospects, when out of the corner of his eye he saw his biggest fan and best customer "Big-Big-Al" headed his way. Carrying a industrial tub of baby oil attached to a huge comedy squirty flower and an obvious arousal "Big-Big-Al" had a wad of cash stuffed into his shorts. Sick of the dry cleaning bill and the stains that dry cleaning couldn't remove Callous legged it out the club and was inspired to go freelance and start writing songs based on his experiences.
Homies Pet Monkey
Worked as a specialist monkey trainer for hip hop/R and B/rap stars. One of his best customers, P Diddy, was throwing a party and hired Homie to train thirty monkeys to dress up as french maids and Can-Can. Whilst dressing the 14th monkey the little fucker bit him, and having seen "outbreak" one too many times Homie panicked and went off in search of alcohol to cleanse his wounds. When he got to the bar he saw Callous drowning his sorrows in his clown suit stuffed with bills. They got talking, then got steaminlgy drunk and then went on a rampage that resulted in them writing their first song together "There's no meat on a monkeys tail"
Apple 4 iris
A young artist who had been living with a Hare Krishna tribe Apple heard of a new surgical technique that had been circulating on the uber/indie network of iris replacements. Dissatisfied with the orange robes and the orange body paint Apple wanted orange irises, she went to the body-art specialist and was flicking through the booklet untill she arrived at the generic fruit stage and saw the orange she was after. Also in the waiting room awaiting their "Rock Forever" tattoo's were Callous and Homie, self aneasthetising with JD. They offered Apple a swig which turned into half a bottle, which meant she'd forgotten the name of the fruit she was having her iris replaced with, pointing at the page and the unhelpfull double vision caused by JD resulted in her having an apple 4 iris instead of an orange. Realising she could never return to her Hare Krishna tribe she joined the last men on earth to be the irony. Their first song as a trio was "Citrus fruit ruined my life"
